An Unholy Love

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What happens at death?

And what does life—and love—mean in the light of it?

I was only in my forties when I discovered my life would end in just three months. I had spent over half my years at St. Benedict Monastery, finetuning my soul. Now, in my search for the why, I had lost my faith.

“It would do you no harm,” Abbott Brennan said, “to participate in the world again: to be tempted by other possibilities, to see things from another perspective, and remember the past.”

This was a very unorthodox proposal, but I agreed.

My journey would take me from the quiet cloisters of the monastery to the bustle of Paris...and lead me to a deeper understanding of life and love.

A profound grappling with man’s search for meaning and the power of love


This remarkable journal, written by a dying man in the last months of his life, is the record of a crisis of faith that forces him to reevaluate aspects of Christian dogma and doctrine. Beautifully written, and deeply moving, it goes beyond conven-tional boundaries in its attempt to understand man in his wholeness. - O.M. Kortlang

Takes the reader on a spiritual odyssey that transcends religious speculation in its apprehension of the imperishable power of love. It is for anyone who fears the unknown, or is in doubt about their own salvation. - S.L. McCallum, LaSource

An intimate story that does not shirk to question many of religion’s truths, without losing sight of man’s ultimate destiny. It leads us to discover something about ourselves which might have lain undeveloped and unknown. An Unholy Love can be read many times over. I could not put it down. - J.L. Moore